snarchfest 2010

the king came for a visit

Here's a recap on my latest tama news:

1. my tamagotchi is/was a single parent. this is what happened: an old lady appeared on the screen, I imagine she is "the matchmaker". The screen asked me LOVE YES NO. obviously I chose yes. Little did I know that love=single parenting. Ol matchmakey bitch introduces my tamagotchi to a girl-one that popped into the screen. A heart appears over their heads. Suddenly, the screen goes black and firewords appear. Then.. POUF! mama's gone, and I'm stuck with a baby. WTF? bitch.

2. I have recieved numerous Poops in the mail. Who is sending me them? And why!? Who sends Poop in the mail? And yes. I have to capitalize Poop. It's just that important.
Another thought: is the Poop I recieve in the mail registered? I wonder how many Poops that have been sent to my tamagotchi in the mail have gotten lost along their way. I hope many but I fear the tamagotchi postal service is very effective.

3. One morning (actually, the one that I was the most hungover for) my regular tamagotchi disappeared and his baby took over. I dunno where my original went. All I know is that I named the baby Ham. And it's a girl. And it annoyed me for 2 hours and all I could think about was throwing it off a cliff. Someone very wise once told me that tamagotchis should have an Enfanticide option. Why don't they? I'm going to recommend it to the makers of this fine (but flawed) product.

I think that's all the news I've got for now. Please leave all hate mail for Ham in the comments section below.